THIS INCARNATION 4

P. 92-94

The book speaks of Worth or self-worth. We are not dealing with a measurable quantity, what is being expressed when it is spoken “to be in your worth” is another way of expressing the idea or the sense of being aligned to your Divine self Your Divine inner truth.

You might recall that many of us were taught or learned, “Oh Lord I am not worthy.” What we can do with this today is to realize that phrase refers only to the personality self. The Divine self is always worthy; it cannot be anything else. The personality self is always striving for something more, something better, and because of its very nature it will always believe it is not worthy because there is always something more to achieve. it speaks in the language of “one more book, one more retreat, one more day of fasting,” and then perhaps I might be worthy.

Your spiritual nature does not get involved in this kind of one-up-manship or bargaining. It does not need to. It continually dwells in the truth of what it is. It is worthy simply because it is. It is worthy because of its realization as coming from the Divine source; it is worthy and lives in the knowing that nothing can take away that worth. You can deny your worth/your Divine nature, but that doesn't take it away, your denial just creates more of an illusion of separation.

The major Focus this morning is our “stuff,” those patterns of thought and behavior that we have either inherited from our families of origin or that we might even have created for ourselves. The realization that comes from this awareness is the becoming cognizant of those patterns of thought and behavior in being that no longer serve us.

We are not making a judgment nor are we blaming those from whom those patterns might have come from. As a friend of mine likes to say, “You might have been taught this pattern or action by someone else, but it's your puppy now.” So that is one of the first realizations we have--drop the over-analysis or holding on to blame or resentment for patterns that might have been passed on to us by church, by family, by friends, by school. Not only is that a waste of energy, but also contributes to being stuck or staying that way.

When you abnegate your worth by believing others are always right—“He must have been right to leave me, I will never amount to much on my own”—you claim your authority in that abnegation of power. And that resonance begins to infiltrate all areas of a life. If you want that, that is up to you; keep plucking things off the low shelf and putting them in your basket if that is what you want, or hear us now: You are the one who chooses, regardless of what you think or have been taught. And if you are carrying a handbasket of trash, drop it now. Who is to tell you not to but you? Now, if you want your trash to stick with you, be prepared to stink, because that’s what trash tends to do after a while. If you do not want it, you have been given the authority to let go.

Our awareness brings to light all of those thoughts, ideas and patterns of action that no longer serve us. Once the awareness is there, then comes the real work of healing because those old patterns do not disappear simply because we want them to. We have learned them so deeply within our being that those patterns and behaviors almost have a life of their own, so that energy needs to be extinguished. That is done in part by choosing a different pattern, choosing a more loving way and not feeding energy into the old patterns that no longer serve us. It sometimes takes  many tries to rid ourselves of useless patterns of behavior. That is why awareness by itself is not enough. Awareness is followed by those other steps-- willingness, intention, surrender and the positive powerful use of imagination.

I gave an example this morning of a pattern that I picked up from my mother which she probably learned from her parents. She would never buy an item that she really wanted, but always would settle for second or third-best. I am not sure what motivated those choices-- one factor certainly seems to be “I am not worthy of the best,” another was probably a desire to avoid extravagance and another might have been a way of saving money.

Although I had probably practiced this pattern many times without realizing it, it really entered my conscious awareness when I was getting ready to buy an electric typewriter years ago. It was a necessary piece of equipment for my continuing education. I found myself in a dilemma of which one should I buy. There was a top-of-the-line Smith-Corona and then there was another “no brand”more cheaply made and I recall going back and forth in my mind until I finally settled on the cheaper model. No sooner had I brought it home that I realized the conflict was not settled. I had bought something I did not want and I felt angry and deprived. What I finally wound up doing was selling the typewriter I had bought for less than I paid for it and then biting the bullet and buying the Smith Corona. In essence what I done was to bu two typewriters or buy one for the price of 2. It was an expensive lesson and one that I continue to learn because I found myself falling into that same pattern time and time again. I can still notice it within myself these days but it has little or no control or energy around me.

Now we will tell you this: Many of you were taught things when you were very small. You believed them implicitly and you created a life to reflect these teachings regardless of whether or not they were serving you well. You were told you were this or that, you were mistreated by this one or that one. But we are here to tell you now that just because something happened does not mean it has to stay. You have as much authority here, but you don’t know it. You have been systematized to agree with the possibility that once you are scarred, you are scarred forever, that once you have been harmed, the memory of the harm will never go away. Well, this is up to you, you know, because, once again you decide what the teaching was.

So what was the lesson for me? On the surface it could be “You're an idiot for not purchasing what you want in the first place. But if I choose to go deeper, the lesson has many different facets. One is that my mother was doing the best she knew how to do and coming from a background of living in the Great Depression was most certainly affected by a deep sense of fear and scarcity. Bringing it more to a personal level I can say to myself “I deserve to live in abundance. I deserve to live without fear. I deserve to rejoice in  and participate in the good and beautiful things of life.”

You notice that many or most of those lessons have nothing to do with the material world. It is not always about buying the most expensive item or living beyond my means or being overly extravagant. It is more about being led and guided by my own sense of inner worth rather than some external measurement.

We do not teach those who have an investment in maintaining their pain as their identity and there are those of you who have become so attached to your history—“This happened to me when I was five, when I was twenty-five, or fifty-five”—that you stand at the roadside looking at the history, the wreck that was your past, and not walking beyond it. Now if you want to stay there, you may; you have been gifted with free will. But this incarnation is yours to learn though. And the moment you decide that there may be another way to learn, to encounter this history, to move beyond the wreckage, you will, but you must choose it.

This final piece today is sort of like getting a bucket of cold water thrown in my face. First of all, I do not think that anybody who is so lost in their own pain or identified with their pain or fear or scarcity or whatever form it might take would probably not be reading this far in the book. But I also feel it is a reminder to all of us that we are continually offered the choice of what we  identify with within ourselves. Pain is always a reflection a scarcity, of fear, of living from a limited sense of awareness.

It is difficult to imagine that in a world created by our divine natures there is no such thing as pain. We wrestle with this one sometimes, and we can turn it back on ourselves in judgment if we are experiencing pain whether physical or psychological. This sort of self-blame is simply another pattern of useless behavior we might have learned in the past.

Perhaps a better way of being aware of this is being able to say, “I have pain but I am not my pain.” When we are in a state of struggle or grieving or hurt, it is very natural that within our human selves we will experience pain, longing, grief. We do not deny this but we do suggest and anything that comes up to you or through you that brings pain with it has come to your awareness to be healed.

The pain that you experience might have very little to do with present circumstances. It might simply be that your soul knows you are ready to handle and heal what it is now bringing to your attention.

In love and in Gray gratitude and in healing: thank you, thank you, thank you.

THIS INCARNATION 3

P. 91-92

A little review. 

These books often speak of being in alignment with your Divine Self or being in alignment with Truth. Expressing the same idea in different language, we also speak of seeing with the eyes of the Christ.

The question remains for many of us, “How do I do that?” It sounds good; it is what I desire. That's why I'm here in the first place, but it always seems a bit beyond my reach. Nice idea, wonderful sentiments, and yet here I am on the ground watching someone else's balloon reach the sky. I'm not even envious anymore; I'm just puzzled. “How do I do that?”

So far in these readings there are five essential elements that I have keyed in on. By the way, the intellect loves having a list of things to keep track of, so we need to be conscious then that we are involved with is not an intellectual procedure, it has much more to do with our spiritual evolution.

The five elements are: Awareness, Willingness, Intention, Surrender and Imagination. 

Taking each one in turn. 

Awareness. In order for anything to happen at all I have to be awake, I have to be out of sleepwalking mode. It is only within consciousness that I can make the kinds of choices that are necessary for my growth. Like going to a raffle and seeing sign that states, “You have to be present to win.”

There are all sorts of ways of practicing awareness. Meditation, by its very nature supports conscious awareness or what the Buddhists would call “mindfulness.” All of us here have reached certain levels of higher consciousness and we generally become more and more aware of when we are in lower vibration and can begin to change that. I recall Ram Dass talking about having a little set of prayer beads on his wrist or in his pocket and whenever he would think about it he would use those beads as what he called a “return” a way of getting out of the judgment and illusion that the mind was creating and bring himself back to a closer awareness of the truth of who he is. So, for example, standing on a grocery line waiting to check out, there are all sorts of distractions and judgments to be made and many times we will lose ourselves and our consciousness in the midst of all that mind chatter. Having something that grounds me again, draws me back in, stops me from identifying with the limitation of just being someone standing online, to realize that I am a Divine being, and these are all Divine beings around me as well. You remember my favorite commercial, “I could have had a V-8.” Of course, what's wonderful about that is that I have to be in awareness to know the truth of that. (that I have a choice)

Willingness. Perhaps another term for this would be “Openness.” Openness to seeing things differently, openness to responding differently to a particular situation, openness to being loved. Now willingness has degrees or levels. There are going to be times when I'm willing but I'm also not willing. This is not a judgment. This again flows from our awareness, our understanding, that, yes, I have a good amount of willingness within me and I also have some resistance. So you might say “I am willing to be willing” or I might even need to take a step back from that and realize that “I'm willing to be willing to be willing.” What matters here is that we accept where we are at a particular point instead of fighting it or trying to be somewhere where we are not. And when I embrace my willingness at whatever level I perceive it as being, I give myself permission to move to the next level.

Intention. There is power in declaring to ourself and to the world what it is that I truly desire. In the work we are doing here this is different than the former use of affirmations. When we first learned about affirmation it was a way of creating something that we desired, something that was not here yet. The information and the intention that we speak of here is claiming what already exists. We are already Divine children of God; we are not creating that, but it is so essential that we claim it. We claim it through our intention. Now we can do this in the morning when we pray or meditate, we also can reinforce it throughout the day. Of course, there will be times when we forget, that is why, so often throughout the book, we claim or proclaim the affirmation, “I know who I am; I know what I am; I know how I serve. I am here. I am here. I am here.” not once but many times.

With awareness and willingness and intention this is as far as my mortal self can bring me. It sort of brings me to the edge. I’ve pushed my intellect as far as it will go; I pushed my my little self, my limited self, my personality self, as far as it will go. It is then, through the act of surrender, —Letting Go of form; letting go of the way I think things should be. It is through this act of surrender that I make this leap into another or deeper realm of knowing.

The last element in this process so far is Imagination. Now imagination that we speak of here is not Fantasyland, but it is actually a very deep process of knowing and affirming. A knowing that goes beyond the intellect. We might not be aware of this but we use this tool quite often even in our daily work.

Here is an example. I am faced with a task, but I don't want to do. It could be as simple as doing the dishes or as complex as doing my taxes. Even though I don't want to do it I realize that it is important for me to accomplish in either in the material world or in the spiritual world. So what I do is I ask myself this question either consciously or not, “What would it be like to have the dishes done?” What would it be like to have my taxes completed?” “What would it be like…?”

 We ask that question and we create an image in our mind in our imagination of what that finished task would be like, how I would experience that completion. And what that does for us it almost creates a space and an energy that moves us to get the job done.

Now in a spiritual sense we use this process for instance of saying to ourselves “What would it be like to know myself as a Divine being?” “What would it be like to see with the eyes of the Christ?” By asking those questions we open ourselves up not only to the answer to those questions, but also we open ourselves up to the possibility of how that works within us. We are not asked to understand or even explain the process, but simply know that it is there.

Again this is something we do quite often without even thinking about it. Often times during a day we can be aligned to our Divine Nature and yet almost take it for granted. We did a little exercise this morning demonstrating for each one of us how we can often be in a deep state of divine consciousness through some very simple events in our lives. Watching a sunset, being in nature, opening our hearts in gratitude, being present with someone we deeply care about and who deeply cares about us. These events are happening all the time all around us and that brings us full circle back to the original element that we spoke of which is Awareness.

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As you grow as a spiritual being, your legacy is one of love. That is what you become, that is what you claim, that is what you gift to the world. Who you are is who you say you are. We will say this many times. “I am the one who is fearful” claims you in fear. “I am the one who knows who he is, who she is, who may live her life in accordance with her new worth as an aspect of the Creator in form” is the legacy you claim in this incarnation. And we will say that will be the title of this chapter, “This Incarnation.”

“You are what you claim to be.” In other words, you claim your experience and your level of perception. Not to oversimplify things, but if you don't like what you see change how you are seeing it. You notice that is not the way we normally do things. If I don't like what I see, including what I see in the mirror, then I try to change it— change my body change— the government— change the world— change the clothes I'm wearing. Or I could open myself to seeing differently whatever it is that is showing up in my life. :How an I see this differently?” Is a powerful question to ask.

Now we will ask you this: Who in your life has taught you the most difficult lessons? Was it your mother, or your father, or the philandering spouse or the ungrateful child? Who taught you the hard lessons? And you must ask them, the lessons themselves, what they were there to teach you. “What did I learn, what did I learn, what did I learn?”

There are two aspects to this teaching: one is that there are lessons to be learned from all of our human encounters,  and two when we allow ourselves to release the blame, shame, and guilt we might have, we open ourselves up to a deeper learning and that is what we were all about anyway.

I came across a wonderful example of both those elements in the dedication of a book I had read a while ago it went like this:

 “For my dead parents whom I often miss:

My mother whose strength and ferocity nurtured me, almost did me in, and taught me how to survive.

And my father who's gentleness and passivity showed me how to love, let me down often, and freed me to find my own way.”

Isn't that beautiful? No blame, no stuckness, but a deep realization of the lessons they taught him, perhaps even without realizing it. The author could have turned all of that into a negative but he did not.

What we are encouraged to do now is to take some time especially when we are face to face with a difficulty. We are challenged instead of moaning and groaning, “Why did this have to happen to me?” to ask instead “What is it here that I am supposed to learn?”

What we are doing that is actually asking the situation that has gotten my attention, “What am I to learn from you?” and really stick with that for a while, like Jacob with the angel: “I will not let you go until you bless me.” You can demand that the learning reveal itself as something positive rather than something negative. In other words, “Show yourself to me in a positive light that I may learn and continue to learn  from this experience.”

This example from the book demonstrates how we can get a “superficial” lesson or we can dig deeper beyond fear and negativity and get closer to the heart of the matter.

Now Paul is getting in the way. “Well, if she had a philandering husband, she knows she can’t trust men.” That may be what she claims, but that may not be the truth of the lesson. The truth of the lesson may be much greater. “I know I am worthy of love regardless of the behavior of another.” “I know I am worthy of being seen regardless of what I look like to another.” “I know that I am worthy of living my life regardless of what I am told by someone who doesn’t care anymore.” You claim your lessons as a possibility of new industry, new awareness, new life, new choices, new being. But you must say yes to the positive lessons that are brought to you through your interactions. In some ways they are your stepping-stones to new worth.

You might notice that we learn physical lessons very quickly. If I put my hand on a hot stove and it gets burnt I am not likely to do that again. Yet in the emotional realm sometimes I find myself experiencing the same lessons over and over and over again until I finally get it. Again this is not judgment, but notice how awareness plays a very dominant role in our learning process.

We also enter into the realm of the mystery. My soul creates situations and events that I have already contracted to learn from. I do not completely understand that; I cannot explain it, but it is not a matter of creating any more shame or guilt around a particular situation. Again instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” I am asking, “What is it here that I am supposed to learn?” and being open as that reveals itself to you.

Thank you again for your continuing wonder, willingness, and love. 

Peace.

THIS INCARNATION 2

P. 89-91

I had a thought at the beginning of our class this morning that I hope was not a distraction. I am continually moved by that wonderful expression by Ram Dass that we are all walking one another home. it is a beautiful expression of our seemingly separate being and yet also our Oneness.

We took some moments to wonder about why people preps people we have not seen in years and years simply come into our mind in a Flash. I could look upon that as being rather meaningless or as a hint to delve into past memories but what seems to me even more appropriate is if this person has entered into our mind so that we might pray for them or hold them in the light. since each one of us is unique expression of God it is our unique expression of the Divine that's somehow on some plane of reality this person is asking for. as I sit with that it does not seem so strange. there have been numerous times when I might have found myself in a down or depressed mood I'm done all the right things to raise my vibration and yet have not seem to be able to muster the energy to move from that dark and state of mind. And then seemingly without reason the fog lifts and I become free. I wonder it's at those moments my presence might have entered the mind of another and they have chosen to pray for me to hold me in the light. I often wonder as well how many times people that help me in the light when I could not hold it for myself. Not necessarily even someone I know but maybe a meditating monk 2000 miles away Who gifts me with their unique expression a God's Divine love which is exactly what I required at that moment.

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How much is enough? Enough money, ice cream, insurance? In the limited consciousness of the ego and the personality self, there is never enough. This miniscule aspect of the self literally lives in fear and scarcity. When John D. Rockefeller was asked, “How much is enough money?” he replied, “Just a little bit more.” What a frightening example of fear and scarcity.

When Jesus was approached with this conundrum of enoughness in the material world, he suggested, “Store up for yourself treasures in heaven where neither rust no moth consume.”

I would suggest exploring the meaning of that statement in each of our own lives. What is it that I am “storing up.” (and I don't think that means brownie points with God)

Most of us have grown up with many conflicting messages about who we are. The example I gave this morning  was remembering my old Baltimore catechism lesson that “I am made in the image and likeness of God,” but then a short time later getting smacked on the knuckles with a steel ruler for talking in class. Which one am I going to remember, that I am a Divine Child of God  or that I am a bad boy? As we explored this we all became aware then we were not blaming the nun or whoever we got that message that mixed message from because they were the results of mixed messages passed on to them from generation upon generation. What we are being asked to do is what Jesus asked his Father to do at the moment of crucifixion, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” it does not deny the hurt or the confusion we might have experienced from the behavior of others, but it does give us the opportunity to become unbound from the anger and resentment which not only holds them down but puts us in chains as well.

I have often thought, “Why is all this stuff coming through now?” Not too far back in history the channeled works of Edgar Cayce were looked upon as important and perhaps even world-changing but back then that was practically just one voice calling out from the desert. Today we are practically bombarded by works of the Spirit channeled by any number of beings all of which are teaching lessons which are quite similar in design.

The impression I have is it after generations of mixed and confusing spiritual messages, We Are The Generation that begins to turn all of that around. Today we have the conscious choice of reinforcing the illusion of separateness and fear or opening up to the transformational power of love and unity. This is not magical thinking. We are encouraged to be well aware, that although these tremendous transformational energies are moving to and through us and manifesting as truth within each one of us, that it might take some time, generations perhaps, for these transformations to show up in the physical/material world. So it is important to keep in mind that we do not look to the physical world for the proof that these messages are real, but that we look inside of ourselves, to our own inner knowing that ratifies these teachings as being real and being true. Not only are we going beyond the five senses to realize their truth, but we are also not relying on our five senses to prove it to us. This is what Jesus meant when he said “Blessed are those who do not see and yet who believe.” As we have said many times in the past, this is not blind faith, but it is resting in the knowledge that is already within you.

We continually reinforce that by claiming the truth both out loud and within our own hearts and Minds, “I know who I am I know what I am I know how I serve.”

Can I be this? Can I truly know throughout my entire being that I am a Divine Child of God, that I am unique expression of the Divine? What we are being asked to do is to open ourselves to the possibility of that, and by doing so we begin to counteract those old illusory beliefs that have kept us bound. One of the many lessons here we begin to discover is that what we call our spiritual work does not have to always be difficult or painful. Through willingness, intention, and surrender as well as the use of our imagination, which is another form of knowing, instead of struggling up to the top shelf, we simply allow ourselves to be raised up, to be lifted.

“Now how do you lift, to rise, to the top shelf? Through intention. And, simply said, intention is a creative action that you claim as being so, not “one day will,” but being so. “I am Word through this intention” sets the action of the frequency of the Word in consciousness to the circumstance, or situation, or requirement that you need to bring into manifestation. When you are doing this, in accord with your vibration as the one in worth, it will be so.”

The last piece this morning is somewhat reflective of the beginning thought today, “How much is enough?”

I still have material desires and some of them I still feed, yet I have also become aware that both my life and my desires have become simpler over time. I even find myself rejoicing in that simplicity. Neither Buddha nor Jesus condemned the material world. Difficulty and conflicts arose not through material things so much but through our attachment to those things. There is that often misquoted phrase from scripture, “Money is the root of all evil.” The corrected quotation states, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” In other words, it is not the material thing itself, money or whatever might happen to be, it is the love of that or our attachment to it or if you want to go further making that thing into a false god that begins to claim our power.

Instead of identifying myself with being a Divine Child of God, I find myself as a person who is thinking about wanting a new car or, for me, it might be a new guitar or new camera. Obviously that's not a definition of who I am, but in my desire, in my attachment, I become so identified with the object of my desire, that without me even realizing it, I have given away my true identity and turned myself into this limited thought and attachment.

“As you exist here, you create mountains of stuff that is your legacy that goes to dust the moment you are gone. When you rise in vibration, you claim things in accord with truth because truth lives in high frequency. What is in truth is eternal and you carry that with you throughout your lives.”

Thank you for your grace, your light, your truth and you loving support.

THIS INCARNATION 1

p.88-89

The diagram to the left is an attempt to illustrate a truth that is often times elusive. Because we are trained to identify more and more with our personality selves, when we are introduced to the idea of spirituality and especially the idea that we are made in the image and likeness of God, that we have within ourselves a Divine self, and that each one of us is a unique expression of the Divine, what happens is that we attempt to reach that divinity, that perfection, through our personality selves. What we have done then is to set up an impossible situation that continually leads to frustration and sometimes despair. (My human nature will never become my Divine Nature--however, as my evolution continues, my human nature will become a more and more perfect instrument through which my Divine self will express itself).

My personality self does not evolve into my divine nature. What happens more than anything else, is that my Divine Nature becomes who I am. In other words, it becomes my identity. Now the work that is done here is done through willingness, intention, awareness, surrender, and imagination. And all five of these elements are continually contributing to our grows and evolution.

The mind would like to think that there is a place or a space I am getting to, and then I will be done, but, you see, our growth and evolution are continuing processes. In a way, they are never done. (that would be like saying, “Well, I think I have loved you enough,” or “I’ve experienced enough love; you can stop now.” Thinking that something is done or finished is the result of living in the illusion of time; in the Eternal now there just is.

We had a question that this morning I cannot recall exactly how it was worded but I do know the concept of “should” came up. Whenever I am working with could or should or have to’s I can be assured that I am working with material produced by my ego., my personality consciousness.

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“Now we would like you to know this: What is in your authority is what you can imagine. If it is in your imagination, it may be possible. If it is possible, it may be created. If it is created, it may be held in accord with your own vibration.”

Thought to explore--A concept that is emphasized in this work is that of “possibility.” Use of the imagination opens us up to the possibility (that I can live without fear or judgment; that I can Be my Divine Self).

Opening to possibility is as far as my material self (my thinking, mortal  mind) can take me, BUT once that possibility is established, then my Being, my Divine Self takes over in ways that I cannot fully understand, and manifests Itself through my body, mind and Spirit.

We have been taught to look at ourselves as being limited. Now let us realize at the personality self, the ego, the intellect are limited by their very nature, but we are reminded again and again that is not who you are. Eventually we will realize that our body, mind and Spirit are part of this unique vehicle that is the expression of the Divine, and, in a way that I cannot explain, this unique expression that we are is not a limitation, it is simply a reflection of the Perfection we have reached in our Consciousness at this particular moment.

“Now, how you’ve been lied to by your lives is by being told that if you want something, you must go out and get it. And you must do, and you must be active, and you must create in action. This is true on the physical plane. On a spiritual plane, on a thought plane, it is not so. What you do is call to you these things that would create the circumstances for your lives to unfold in the ways that you would claim. You like to put the cart before the horse. You like to think that if you are not running after something, you are not doing. In fact, when you are knowing yourself in your true worth—“I know who I am, I know what I am, I know how I serve”—you claim dominion, and what you call to you in your authority is in accordance with the worth that you hold.”

No one lied to us on purpose. They were simply communicating those supposed limitations that they had taken on themselves. My buddy Ram Dass put it wonderfully when he said, “From the moment we are born, we go into “people training.” People start telling us who we are. The difficulty is that everyone who is telling us who we are who we are don't know who they are.” They think they know and they wind up passing on this false information from one generation to the next. Well, guess what? The buck stops here. We are the generation that is conscious and aware enough to work through the illusion of separateness and limitation. It is a challenge, yes, but in many ways a very freeing one.

There was one other point that came up in our class this morning and in looking back, I did not explain it very well, probably because it was not very clear to me. With the help of all those around me I will attempt to express these ideas with more clarity.

One of our classmates gave the example of asking, “Is it okay to binge watch a bunch of movies. In this case, a whole bunch of Marvel superheroes-- actually I could relate to that because my grandson and I did that over Christmas vacation. But I think the real question here is, where the real reflection here is, Her is my mind saying of thinking, “You know it seems that this work we are doing is difficult, is hard. It takes a lot of energy. I seem to be swimming upstream more than floating down the river. Can I take a break; can I rest for a while; can I breathe?”

Again we have a set of conundrums, either consciously or unconsciously, created by our personality selves. My limited ego-self says, “Well if you really want to be spiritual, here is what you should do and here's what you should not do. Here is what is good for you and here is what is not, and if you don't obey those rules you're not being spiritual and there's something wrong with you.” I don't know about you, but do you get a sense of how that kind of thinking can simply tie us up into knots?

When I am all knotted up with these conflicting ideas and become afraid to eat a bowl of ice cream or reread my Harry Potter books or get lost in one of my fantasy novels, I have to stop for a moment and ask myself, first of all, “what or who am I identifying with,” and even more importantly, “How can I make whatever it is that I am doing into an act of love-- whether it is sitting in quiet meditation or changing a child's diaper or shopping for groceries or having a warm cup of coffee, and yes even escaping for a while?”

One of the reasons I became somewhat flummoxed this morning was that I got a little bit lost in my personality self that was looking for a set of rules about The Game of Life. I wanted a formula that I could follow no matter what the external situation might be and you know what? There isn't any. When I am conscious, when I am aware, every moment, no matter what I happen to be involved in, can be an act of love, a moment of grace.  Perhaps an oversimplification but I think not.

Remember these? “Is what I am thinking or planning on acting upon, does it open my heart or does it close my heart; does it raise my vibration or lower my vibration; is it an act of love or cry for help or an active fearfulness.

What would it be like if I could simply lovingly accept and embrace myself at this moment wherever and however I perceive myself to be?