In sitting with this lesson I reflected that I could have gone a bit further in the book and helped bring some of these ideas together. BUT I also felt that we needed to do an experiential piece/meditation/imagery. So here I am again being reminded of a piece of worldly wisdom, as long as we are part of the material world, “You can have anything you want, but you can’t have everything you want.” OR as the Stones put it so well, and perhaps even better, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”
Although a good bit of today's material seems somewhat repetitive of lessons previously learned what all of us need to realize is that although a lesson shows up that appears identical or quite similar to one we have already explored, we are continually given the opportunity to delve deeper into the learning that we have called to us.
Just as a for instance, we are all aware that we are Divine children of God and yet each one of us, in our own ways, can fall into forgetfulness. We need to be reminded of that truth again and again and realize that just as a growing plant sinks its roots deeper and deeper into the Earth, so also do we allow our awareness to grow deeper and deeper into the Truth of Who We Are. The truth of who we are just not change, but our awareness and our ability to keep that awareness within our consciousness is continually growing and evolving.
It is only through the limited vision of the small self that we think we are repeating a lesson again and again. It is only the small self, the personality, the ego consciousness which allows itself to become frustrated in it's learning.
Again, what we experienced so often is what A Course in Miracles refers to as a “confusion of levels.” We find ourselves continually evaluating or judging ourselves through the limited perception of our personality. We also think, somehow or another, that it is our personality self that is going to become divinized. The Divine self the Truth of Who You Are already exists. It is not something that is coming into existence in some future time. It is the Truth of who you are in this moment.
Now the personality self, f\or the ego consciousness will become spiritualised, will realize its true nature and will eventually and docily become aligned to the truth of the Divine as who you are. it will eventually release its struggles and it's clinging attachments and it's attempts to accomplish the Impossible. In other words it will allow itself to be loved simply as it is.
And so here we are on this continuing Journey of Discovery and Recovery. Knowing Who We Are; affirming Who We Are; aligning to the Truth of Who We Are and yet, still, at times, falling into forgetfulness. And then forgiving ourselves again and again and again 70x 7 so that our forgetfulness, instead of being a fault or a failing or a sin or an error, simply becomes another part of our learning.
In our last outing, we mentioned the mysterious nature of our continuing growth and evolution. There are times when we might experience a miraculous healing for ourselves or for another, and there are other times when a disease or an illness or a particular life circumstance does not seem to change, at least from external appearances. The personality will then question the self and think that because its goal has not been reached that it must have done something wrong. The picture that the personality paints and perceives is only a tiny piece of the whole tapestry.
If it is true that we travel in and through this Earthly sphere any number of times as we are continuing and completing our education, then it is also true that the soul not only creates life circumstances in this moment to learn from, but that it is also agrees, before this incarnation, the lessons that have been chosen to learn.
This sometimes is a very hard saying because from the point of view of the personality anything that is difficult or painful or harsh or even out of balance, I don't want it; I fight it; I resist it. I certainly have a tremendously difficult time believing or claiming that I have created it (this troublesome thing in the first place).
We suggest however what other choice do you have? Is life simply a series of incidences and experiences that are all occurring to you and me from some outside force? How do we explain that good things happen to bad people and sometimes bad things happen to good people? How do we explain or even explore the seemingly unfairness of it all? Is it the luck of the draw or is it more than that?
What I have in front of me right now in my life is exactly what I have (what my soul has) wanted. I might not know or perceive that in my limited personality self, but there are different reasons why I might have created something or a situation that I find myself in. For sure, one of the most important reasons is that I have created it to learn from, but that learning might take different forms. I might be being asked to heal something; I might be asked to let go of something; I might be asked to do something differently. All of those varied choices and more are what I become aware of when I am conscious of the life situations or experiences I find myself in at this moment.
Perhaps you can even come up with some of the reasons yourself, not as blame or shame, but as a way of working through of why I might have created this. You will notice, if you make this part of your practice, that it will be difficult at times. It will be easy or almost natural for you to fall in to blame or self-condemnation and obviously this is not the point of the awareness we are speaking of. And so perhaps that is a lesson by itself. When you find that you have created something difficult then realize you have also created the difficulty to learn from. “How can I see this differently? How can I hold this more gently? how can I be a little bit more compassioate and understanding towards myself?
If all of this seems rather open-ended, it is. We cannot tie all of this up in a neat little package and smack our hands together and say “Well we've learned that one. Let's move on,” because the learning we are speaking of here is continual, just as your awareness of your Divine self continues to grow and evolve.
“Now we get worried sometimes, when we reach you, that you misunderstand our teaching, that we are telling you that you think you caused your pain, and then you use that as an excuse to harm yourself once again. That is not our teaching. But our teaching is very clear. You have choice. What you claim, you hold and are in accord with. What you hold is your frequency and aligns you to a reality that out-pictures the very thing you say you don’t want. So how can it be not your choice?”
One of the things that happens within our forgetfulness is that we forget we have a choice. I have a choice of how I respond to the life situations that I have created for myself to learn from. We will say that again “I have a choice of how I respond to the life situations I have created for myself to learn from.”
In grace, love, healing and gratitude.