THIS INCARNATION 15

p.110-112 

 “It is only with the heart that one sees rightly what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

The Little Prince  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

We have created a world that lives in duality, and that is the continuing challenge of living in the density of planet Earth. To be aware that practically all that we encounter is defined in terms of opposites. Good/bad; right/wrong; black/white; short/tall; and even Truth/illusion. The list is seemingly endless. Even the language you have given your computers is a continuing series of opposites 0’s and 1’s.

Now the challenge is to see beyond the dualities. That does not mean they disappear on the material plane, but what it does mean is that we do not look upon them as being the truth. (As Dr. Seuss pointed out, “Life’s a great balancing act.”

What Jesus spoke in his prayer is the absolute truth:”That all of them may be One, as You, Father, are in Me, and I am in You. May they also be in Us.” See, our words have reached a limit here, even though He speaks of Oneness He has to use the language “You; me; us.”

When we live in non-judgment, when we are in the moment, we are in Oneness; holding a child; watching a sunset; that moment right before you go to sleep; (claim a few others for yourself).We have all encountered moments such as this. The mind somehow thinks we created these moments and so it becomes possessive of them and tries to define them. It attempts to recreate all of the factors and situations that seem to contribute to that moment of Oneness. From these mistaken notions comes all sorts of attachments and distorted ideas of luck and superstition.

You do not create these moments of Oneness, you simply have a realization of the only Truth there is-- what exists in reality beyond illusion-- that there is only Love that there is only Oneness.

And yet here you are seeming to struggle and wondering, “How can I possibly know myself in Oneness and still live and learn in this world of duality?

The following two passages are from Khalil Gibran’s wonderful book called The Prophet. In poetic and spiritual terms he describes living in duality, but not being attached to one side or the other. In fact, to be able to comprehend and embrace the beauty of both sides, so that we rise above comparison and rest in The Wonder of our experience.

On Pain

 Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

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On Joy and Sorrow

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

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The story goes that the student was struggling. He was overly attached to the concept of enlightenment, and, of course, because of  this attachment, was blocking his own process. His teacher looked upon him with compassion and said, “Brother, look at those bamboo plants over there. Are they short or are they tall?” With that simple question the student was overcome with laughter and released his attachment.

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“Now we say yes, it can be, it is so, for the simple reason that mankind’s true essence is to be expressed in love, in freedom, in choice, and in gratitude for all that has been gifted to him. If you can be in gratitude, if you can move your awareness to a place of wonder, to new possibilities, you will, you will, you will claim them and call them to you. But you must trust the possibility that this is happening even when you cannot see it. Even when it is not seen, it is so. The sun is alight somewhere when all you perceive is darkness. You can understand this. The sun is shining somewhere and you must see the sun as in its return in the darkest moments of your life.”

We have all experienced dark times, difficult times, times even when we might have been in despair and yet again here we all are. What if, even in our darkest times we became aware, beyond reason, that there was a part of us or an aspect of us or an awareness within us beyond all thought or emotion, that continued to dwell in the Light. It is not something we could know with our minds, but we could be aware of it with our hearts, our inner knowing. This awareness did not make the darkness disappear nor did it necessarily make the sun shine through the clouds, but this knowing beyond knowing allowed us to realize that despite everything to the contrary, we were still able to put one foot in front of the other, to move, even through this muddy, sticky swamp until the fog was lifted. I have no way of explaining all of that.

“Truly, it is in the darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us.”― Meister Eckhart

Here again we are asked to embrace the POSSIBILITY-- with the human mind and heart-- this is as far as our limited sense of self can take us-- to the realm of embracing the possibility. When we do this the soul opens in surrender and the Divine Self takes over. It takes over both the teaching and learning.

And then again, we realize on deeper and deeper levels of consciousness that we are continuing and continually creating our lessons AND within their learning comes our continuing evolving in creation and the essence of love.

This next paragraph is such a powerful teaching; i would encourage us to sit with it a bit, and let it sink in. 

“As you are taught by your creations, your creations being those things that you have chosen to learn through, you encounter yourself in each interaction. And as you learn who you are, as you are re-created through these encounters, you claim an ideal, an identity of who and what you say you are. But nothing that you choose is infinite because your soul knows better than you do. What you choose in fear may be re-created in love. What you have known in pain may one day be known in love. What you have been imprisoned by may, indeed, be the way you find your freedom.”

Paul’s mind and human consciousness are in rebellion for a moment, Just as we are attempting to grasp these teachings with our human intellect and personality consciousness. Listen to the answer.

“Paul is saying, “What does this mean, our name—I know who I am?” I am who I say I am, and I know what I am. And as I know, I encounter you in your worth. There is no Christ but you. There is no Christ but me. There is only Christ in the manifestation of God and seeded in each of you. It has come to be, it has come to be, it has come to be.”

We all have choices here, to hold onto the old--ideas, beliefs, systems of thought, that might have served us very well in the past, but are no longer either necessary or useful. In other words, they no longer serve us. And for a while we do not even realize that our holding onto these useless and sometimes even destructive ideas is much more painful than we could imagine.

If we are willing to persist in our embracing of the possibility of knowing the truth of Who We Are then we get to what I would like to call a “Popeye” moment when he says, “I can't stands no more!”

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anias Nin

“We will tell you this, Paul. You are a teacher of the Word. And there are many teachers of the Word coming into their own awareness through these times of change. A teacher of the Word is a teacher of embodiment. The Christ has come in man to be expressed as man as man aligns to the vibration of it. But when you decide in advance that you cannot be forgiven, or he or she cannot, you close that door until you are willing to open it again. When you judge your fellows, you judge yourself. And we have said this many times: What you judge, you fear. So why do you fear yourselves and why won’t you allow us to teach you a new way: a new way to be, to freedom, to sing, to align, to create, and to know who and what you are?”

Sunday morning our group consciousness created a profound space of silence and stillness. It was/is a remarkable gift. Reminding me that Resurrection does not require noise or drama--it is in the Stillness that we KNOW.

In Love and Gratitude

THIS INCARNATION 14

P. 110-111

A REFLECTION/MEDITATION

Suppose that God is all. God is Everything. Suppose that God is Love, Be-ing, the Power of Creation. And suppose that the only and ultimate energy or movement of this Allness is to grow and evolve.

(It was said of Jesus, as a child entering into young manhood, that he grew in wisdom, age and grace, and that is a material world metaphor.)

Even though words are by their very nature limiting, we are continuing to stretch to embrace the meaning behind the words.

And suppose that the way God has chosen to grow and to evolve is through all of the billions and perhaps even infinite faces all of His/Her creation. So that, for instance, here on planet Earth, from the tiniest subatomic particle to the most complex being, from the beginning of the end and the end of that spectrum, from the Alpha to the Omega, every form has consciousness and every form experiences itself in its own unique way. And this is not just one experience, it is a continuum. What would it be like to realize that all experience, removing from it the stigma of judgment, of right or wrong, or good or bad— it all experience that is moving and evolving.

How would that change our vision of life?. Imagine the tiniest of subatomic particles, conscious on its own and yet also moving and evolving and then joining with others along the way, becoming more and more complex. Now, what is interesting here is that each subatomic particle still retains a sense of self and yet at the same time knows that it is contributing to more than that it is.

So if we take that particle and observe it joining with others becoming more and more complex, doing more more complex actions/responses here on planet Earth, and finding similar patterns beyond the Earth. A complex being called a solar system and a sun and then each one of these suns and solar systems becoming more and part of a more complex being called the Galaxy containing billions of suns and then billions of galaxies becoming part of this known universe. And this is only a stretching our imagination to begin to encompass the material world.

What about the immaterial worlds? What about other dimensions? What about energy beyond matter, beings that would be impossible or ungraspable by the intellectual mind and yet still being there beyond all reason. What would it be like to know that you sit in the midst of all of this. And that even on an Earthly level, all of the lifetimes you have lived you are living Right Now.

See that is something else as well. The world we have been taught to live in exists in linear time, one thing following the next. That is the way it's supposed to be, that is the way it should be, and therefore that is the way it is. And yet we know intuitively or even instinctively that there is more than our linear thinking. love goes beyond that, gratitude goes beyond that, our sense of self goes beyond that.

So you see this thing called life, your life, your individual personal life, is such a minuscule piece of this entire tapestry woven of both visible and invisible threads. Now when we say “minuscule” that does not mean unimportant. What the grain of sand has to contribute to this Divine Evolution is valuable and important, as what this blade of grass has to offer, as to what this dolphin has to offer, as to what this human being has to offer. There is no measurement or judgment in this realm. We are all participating in this continuing Act of Creation.

The only seeming difficulty is how often we forget, but let us take another leap here, to know that even our forgetfulness is a chosen mode of operation by Spirit to allow us to learn on even a deeper level the truth of Who We Are. There are no mistakes or errors.

So here we all are, with billions of other beings participating in this marvelous dance this mad marvelous stance with our own unique script in our hands. What would it be like to do this joyfully. 

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REFLECTION 2 

WHAT I SEE AND HOW I SEE

Tell me one last thing," said Harry," Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?"

Dumbledore replied: "Of course it's happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

From Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows

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Stated many times in the NTI: “What you see, you see through the filter of your mind.”

Even a bad mood can change the way I see the world. Richard Carlson in A Shortcut Through Therapy states: “When you are in a ‘down place’ your vision become distorted.” for instance, the little crack in garage wall which has been there for months instead of being something you will get fixed someday, now turns into “My house is falling down around my ears!”

Now think of all the other filters that can distort my vision of the world.

Aside from my mood these are a few more filters that can distort my vision: the weather, what I ate last night, past hurts or woundedness, defenses that I have built up to protect myself, doubts, fears, addictions and compulsions, ego needs to impress or get attention, guilt, shame, and so many other factors both conscious and unconscious.

What kind of world do I see? Do I see a world, including myself and others, through the eyes of God’s Unconditional Love, or do I see the world through the many filters that distort my vision?

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And now—the Book

I’m going to summarize a few things from these pages without directly quoting from the book. There are many deep teachings that sometimes can get lost in the words.

Whenever we are aware enough we can choose peace rather than anger, fear, separateness, etc. But that does NOT mean that we have to invite our “problem” people to dinner. I can love so-and-so, and true know that he/she is a divine child o God, but my personality self and theirs might still have a difficult time being in the same room! 

(We will explore this more a little per when we examine a question about passivity.)

BUT look at the powerful learning the ones up here for you. If you are willing you can ask yourself, “Why is this person or behavior so bothersome? How is my self-worth or my perception of myself being called into question? What does it trigger within me? What is it in me that I need to accept, embrace, open to healing?” It is here that our learning and evolution takes place.

Please keep in my mind, we are continually teaching there is a difference between responding to people and life situations from the personalty/ego perspective and that of the Christ Consciousness that you are. So when confronted by seeming conflict you might want to ask yourself, “Who is doing the talking here?”

When e speak of forgiving yourself, we are also speaking of the need for your healing,* We can all recognize that. BUT here is the catch 22—in order to heal, I need to be open to healing, and in order to be open to healing, I need to see myself as worthy of healing.   

*healing can also be looked at as “healing my perspective.” Instead of seeing myself as an ego/personality, I see myself as the refection of the divine that I am —I see with the eyes of the Christ.

We are told quite often that we are not being led to take infinitely huge leaps of consciousness, simply to be open to the POSSIBILITY. Open to the possibility of healing, the possibility of holding ourselves sin worthiness. 

“Now, how do you move beyond a lifetime of shame, of fear, of living in ways that were not for your highest good? Can a human being, in fact, be repatterned, be reborn in their own higher knowing to a peaceful way of existing? Is this possible, or is this illusion? We will tell you this: It is not only possible; it is the work we do with you, that we do with each of you as you align to us. The intention that you hold that it may be possible is what allows this to be. But the history that you have known, that you grab and you hold on to for the safety of the known is often more of a comfort than what you cannot fully hold because it has not made itself fully present, is what you are encountering when you wish to say no.”

When we come up against older leanings that have basically become part fo our consciousness, when these old beliefs are challenged, they do not imply disappear. We might have to grieve their loss, in our on personal way, we might have to examine our resistance—not in judgmental or blaming way, but in a way that allows us to gently and lovingly release and leet go of ht not longer serves me.

One of the ways that the ego/personality “fights back” I by making us think the new ways we are adapting to are passive, or wimpy. The ego can make no sense t all in the dictum of ACIM, “In my defenselessness my safety lies”

Please keep in mind, there is no “rule book” here, “Well, when the happens, you do this>” Each instance in our lives we have a choice to respond in love or fear—the form of that response might be different more often than not.

Let us take the gospel directive, “Turn the other cheek.” On the surface that appears to e the ultimate in passivity or victimhood. Why would we ever be asked to do that?

There are a number of different levels of understanding and operation here.

The first is that I do no have to respond to anger or hurt with more anger and hurt. I do not have to stand there and be hit again, but I do not have to hit back. (Recall Gandhi’s quiet revolution when his people would be beaten by the British soldiers. Another group would come up and take tie place, until the soldiers were so weary they could to beat them anymore. I realize this is an extreme and that most of us will never e called upon to express that level love and heroism, but there it is).

This is also NOT a teaching about “Sticks and stones..etc.” We are not ignoring pain and hurt—what we are teaching is there is Truth deeper than and beyond the pain and hurt.

THIS INCARNATION 11A

A few statements ot ponder: 

“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.” Thomas Merton (Here is a marvelous, paradoxical thought combining aspects of the personality and Divine self in a way that only the soul can understand.)

"I am this emptiness, silence, the absolutely real, eternal, omnipresent Being and the only Real Substance of all the universe." 

And a wonderful contribution from one of our classmates from Alan Watts:

“The ‘thinker’ is just another thought!”

P. 103-104

It appears that much of our confusion and sometime difficulties flow from our continuing identification with the personality self. Again we must emphasize that we are not denying this aspect of the self, but we are emphasizing the awareness that this personality/ego self is not who you are. Essentially it is a construct of ideas and beliefs and labels that we have collected over this lifetime and perhaps many others. Some of these labels and beliefs we have adopted from other people or institutions such as family, church, and school. Others we have “invented” ourselves, but they all contribute to this sense of a separate identity, and it is here we have missed the mark. If we were to take a moment to look at the pure intention or purpose of Spirit/our Divine Self/Christ consciousness, it would inform us that the creation of the ego or the personality self was a way of forming a unique vehicle through which the Divine could be expressed. It was never meant to be separate or isolated.

Another aspect of the personality or the ego self is also the intellect and the five senses through which it learns. This is the way the small self or the personality self learns and knows. Just as the personality or ego thinks it is separate, so does the intellect also think that it is the only way of knowing.

Because most of us begin life by being told who we are by people who don't know who they are, we begin by identifying with the ego/personality self and its primary vehicle for knowing which is the intellect, the thinking mind. It is only when we have reached a point of realizing the insufficiency of this created mechanism of personality for satisfying or filling our spiritual needs that we begin to look and seek elsewhere for our nurturing and our sustenance.

Here again most of us miss the mark because as we begin to look elsewhere, we begin to look outside of ourselves thinking that the answer is out there someplace. It is like that old parable of the Gods: 

   

“After the world was fashioned the gods looked upon it and saw that “it was good,” and then sensed there was something more to do. They decided to conceive a creation such as themselves, and they would place some of their divinity inside each new being. So humankind was formed, and divinity placed in each new life. For some time everyone recognized this divine and sacred nature within themselves and one another, but then people started to forget and began treating themselves and others badly. The gods were horrified at this desecration of divinity, and although they could not take this divine gift away from humans, they could hide it, so it would no longer be neglected and mistreated. After a long discussion one of the oldest and wisest of the gods ex- claimed, “They will find this gift practically any place we hide it, so we will conceal this divinity within their hearts, for that is the last place they will look.” 

Our dilemma is that we are continually looking for our Divine self through our intellect and our personality self---and, in case you hadn’t noticed, that does not work.

So you ask, “How do I get in touch with my Divine self? How do I become more aware of who I truly am?” In essence, that is the work we are doing together here. The statements of Truth that we claim quite often, “I know who I am; I know what I am; I know how I serve; I am here; I am here; I am here” are declaration of the truth of Who We Are, beyond thought, beyond feeling, beyond the knowing that is part of the material world. It is an expression of a knowing that is deep within each one of us. Can we prove it? Can we articulate it? probably not, but in many ways it is a knowing that defies contradiction.

(Why else would we be sitting here reading this? It is not just a hope we are holding onto, it is Truth. Do we forget, of course, but notice how powerfully we are being called to remember!)

Now the ego, the personality, the intellect do not give up their hold on your identity without a struggle. Perhaps struggle is not the correct description, as soon as we say struggle we are creating another duality--we’ve got enough of those.

Let us say, for example, that you lived a life in poverty, scarcity, lack. That all you knew or experienced was hunger, emptiness, a sense of incompleteness and unfulfilled dreams. Then someone entered your life and said to you, “My son child, you have been lost to me for these many years, but now I have found you. Come back to your true home where you shall be surrounded by riches, love, acceptance and absolute abundance, and you shall never want for anything again.” 

Probably for many of us we would respond initially with shocked surprised and joy, but then again, would we adapt immediately to our new environment and immediately drop all of our notions a fear or scarcity or lack or want? Or would there be inside of us, this sense of “this is too good to be true;” that it might be taken away at any moment. That I may need to hoard my food or my riches or even that I will not enjoy myself terribly much for fear that the enjoyment will be taken away from me. How often might I find myself dreaming either in sleep or daydreaming that I am still back where I was in fear and poverty and scarcity. How often might I think that this dream is more real than the abundant reality I am living it?.

How long or how much might it take for me to completely surrender to this abundant reality that is the truth of who I am, as opposed to remaining in that sense of limitation that in a  strange way feels safer then my surrender?

That is a brief and simple metaphor for what most of us are experiencing now. No judgement; just awareness.

And let us add one more piece to this part of our learning. We often speak of perception. Perception being the way we are looking at things, especially the way we are looking at ourselves or how we are defining ourselves and the properties/qualitis we are using to form this definition.

Perception is an expression of the personality or the small self and therefore perception by its very nature will always be limited. So who I think I am at this moment or how I perceive myself to be is simply a complex set of information or beliefs or ideas that is coming to my consciousness from my limited self. Again we do not reject this or throw it away we simply realize it is not complete nor even truthful.

The quote from Thomas Merton at the beginning of this section--- another way of holding that is that it is allowing the Self to see through or to see beyond the perception of self.

Let us follow one other thought  from a question that is a good lead in to our next section. This next piece is all about forgiveness. Any thoughts, ideas, beliefs, memories or anything else that affects us by carrying with it any form of negativity, is a call to forgiveness. 

The question was asked, “What part of us forgives or needs forgiveness? Is it the ego or is it the Divine self?  Here again we might find ourselves in a dilemma. The Divine self does not need forgiveness it is already perfectly clear. The ego or the personality self or the intellect cannot forgive, because that is the aspect of us that has created the problem with the negativity in the first place.

The image that came to mind was that of looking at ourselves as being an adult relating to  a child. For whatever reason, the child is hurt and angry and perhaps lost in their own negativity. It is not for me to ignore or to depreciate those feelings, but it is also not my purpose to become too wrapped up in them either. My task as a loving adults is to embrace this being where they are, and lovingly open them to a wider, broader picture of what is going on in their lives so that the hurt or the attachment can be healed and released.

So here is an example of how the Divine self interacts with the personality. It does not judge or condemn but holds and creates a loving space for healing and release to take place.

There is a balancing point here because forgiveness can usually only occur with those who are sensitive enough to realize that they have caused or produced hurt. Once that is realized it is very easy to fall over the edge into self-pity, guilt and shame . That still can be healed by the Divine self, but it might be a more involved process. 

As we practice becoming aware of hurt that I have caused and immediately moving to my Consciousness, my connection, my alignment with the Divine self for correction for healing and for release.

We will explore this in much more detail in the coming weeks.

And here is how we closed on Sunday morning with a beautiful meditation around this deep recognition of Truth 

“If you will allow us now, we will surround you in love and we will open your frequency to a whisper:

You are loved, regardless of what you have been taught, how you have been treated, how you have treated yourself. You are deeply loved as are all men, as are all women, as are all. Simply allow, right now, the self to receive and to be still and know. I know who you are, I know what you are, I know how you serve. And I am one with the power that I am with in frequency, in love, and in my own worth.”

Thank you all...

THIS INCARNATION 13

p. 105-109

FORGIVENESS EQUALS FREEDOM

That is another way of understanding the depth of forgiveness/letting go/release/surrender.

To allow that to happen we need to embrace ourselves as being worthy to be free.

“Now, the damage you each do to yourselves through this action or, if you would like to say, inaction, is surmountable and there is an easy way to forgive, if you will allow it, and this is to give peace, to offer peace, to claim peace in the rage, to decide in peace where there has been frustration impressed upon a situation. To deny the self, this entrenches the self. To deny this for your fellows entrenches your fellows in the same response. If you wish to move the response, you may, but you must first attend to the self.”

It has been recorded often times when an animal has been chained up or caged for a long period of time that when they are released, they stay within the confines of their old cage or tether. Even those there are no longer any physical restraints, their habits or this sense of safety or necessity that goes along with being in this limited space becomes almost instinctual.

So here we are. We have learned to live a tethered existence and to think that is all that we have, and perhaps even all that we deserve. We are offered the opportunity of freedom, and sometime even the possibility of freedom might be something that frightens us away.

There are many stories like the eagle who was raised by chickens,  taught to believe the “reality” of their limitations, and perhaps yearning for something more, and maybe even having the seeds or something more, but never quite being able to move out of the mold that has been created for them.

“I know who I am, I know what I am, I know how I serve” will align you to peace, if you allow it. And we must underline this, if you allow it. If you bring peace to a situation from deciding that you can allow it, you will claim peace. And as you claim peace, you express peace and you call peace to you, and that is what happens very easily as you decide you can be forgiven for judging yourself so harshly. You may decide this for your fellows as well.”

When we claim, “I know who I am I know what I am I know how I serve” we are claiming that freedom that has always been ours. We are not inventing something new. All of the seeming blocks or hurdles that we think we need to overcome to get to that space of freedom are all part of the lessons we have chosen to learn. As we are often told “there are no accidents or mistakes or errors along this path.” Whatever it is is that we encounter is there as we choose to participate in our continuing growth and evolution.

We are reminded here as well that we learn from experience not simply from thoughts or ideas. Again, when we claim “I know who I am and I know what I am I know how I serve” we are aligning ourselves to the experience of that Truth. Even if my perception of that experience only lasts for a split second I need to be aware that time limitation is only true if we are using linear time is being are measuring stick. That HOLY INSTANT is also a reflection of eternity.

To get a sense of what we mean by experience and how the energy of the experience can stay with us far beyond time and memory, we will simply take an example from your own lives. There have times when you have experienced yourself as being deeply loved or grateful or the presence of someone or something greater than what your mind can grasp. If you were to take a moment to go back in your mind to that experience and sit with it and let it sit with you for moment. Begin to realize that the energy of that experience is still with you, not a grasping sort of way, but as a way of opening your heart to it. This is much more than a memory. It is more than an idea or an image. It is more like a bookmark in your life. But the experience in itself opens the heart  and can remind us  of the truth that you might have forgotten.

There're also many parables about learning and experience some of them are reflections of the spiritual journey. For instance imagine there is a king who decides who would like to be more understanding of his people, especially those who are poor or destitute. He decides to dress himself in rags go to live with his impoverished people for a while. He will certainly have some experience of what it is like to be poor, at the same time, he will always recognize, in the back of his mind, that he is the king and that at any moment he can snap his fingers has personal poverty will disappear.

Now there is entirely different set of dynamics that would be working if, before he can enter it into this impoverished place, his memory of who he is would be wiped clean. Notice the difference of his experience without knowing that he is the king. Which one of those experiences will teach you more which one will be more real?

In the Christian tradition this is reflected in the parable of the Prodigal Son. For a time, because his first overwhelmed with all of pleasures that he is seeking and then because he is overwhelmed by devastating poverty, he forgets who is. He forgets his heritage; he forgets his loving father. The question that is often asked is “Whose gratitude will be greater? That of the prodigal who tirelessly works his way home or that of the other son was never left?

We were given the wonderful question: “What happens or what is happening when we think we have forgiven another or even ourselves, and we know that we have worked rather diligently to create that energy of forgiveness, of release, of letting go. And then the thought of that person or that circumstance comes to us again and we feel our guts twisting around it. Does that mean we have been mistaken, that we have duped ourselves? That we really did not do the work we thought we did? That is certainly one possibility but most of the time that is not true.

The majority of times when circumstances such as of that arise we realize that forgiveness very much like grieving sometimes happens in layers. We deal with the circumstance as best we possibly can, work with it and let it go, and then there are going to be times when there is more or deeper stuff that needs to be released and worked on. When you are living from your soul this kind of situation reveals itself as “I am not completely finished with this one yet. It has come up in my consciousness and brought to my attention to realize that there is further work around forgiveness and release that must be done here. I can even thankful that is up for me to heal, to cleanse, to forgive, to release.

Because my stuff come sup again is not a sing of failure, simply that there is more work to be completed AND I now have the ability and the tools to continue the work.

I shared an incident in my life that would crop up periodically for me. Every time it would come into my consciousness there was still be some energy around it and I would realize it sometimes again and again and realize that there is more and more of the necessity to release in forgive. Until there came a moment when the memory of that incident came up and there was no more energy surrounding it. It was something that happened to me in my life that I was sad and sorry that it happened. I wished it had not but that was no more sense of the necessity of grieving or forgiveness. That particular circumstance was done, was finished. There was no more energy of anger or fear, shame or unfairness that was connected with it anymore. Grateful. 

One last observation. a classmate described his life experience as not having a tremendous amount of difficulty with worthiness. Admittedly not perfect, but when falling short of the mark would simply get up brush himself off and try it again. Forgiving himself and others seemed like quite a natural thing to do rather than a struggle with worthiness or blame or shame or guilt.

He mentioned that this seems rather unfair since so many others seem to be overwhelmed with that sense of unworthiness or what I like to call “not enoughness.”

It appears as if a large number of the human race have chosen to work through this lesson of unworthiness; to work through it to come to a deeper sense of the Truth of who they are. As was mentioned before, without getting into too much exploration of reincarnation, that we do choose our agenda and some of this agenda goes beyond the individual into what we might call a racial unconsciousness.

Perhaps there have been times on planet Earth when this sense of unworthiness was not so overpowering or not so much of a struggle, however, it appears at this time in our history this lesson of worthiness is one that many of us have chosen to learn this time around .

So much of what we have grown up with as Christians comes from that one misinterpreted moment when the Roman centurions said to Jesus, “Lord I am not worthy.” Unfortunately no one follows up on the rest of that verse.

The Roman official had come to Jesus to ask that his servant might be healed, and as Jesus set out to the officials home the man said, “Lord I am not worthy that thou should enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant shall be healed.” In other words, “I don't want to put you out. You don't have to walk all the way to my home. I know the power within you, and if you choose to heal my servant, even from this distance, I know it will be so. His declaration was not one of unworthiness so much as it was a declaration of faith.

How unfortunate for so many of us and we were taught that unworthiness is more of a truth than worthiness/our true nature itself.

As always, with Love and Gratitude.