CHAPTER ON LOVE

LOVING ME, LOVING YOU
FOR SUCH A long time, I thought other people were supposed to fix me and complete me. That was what relationships were all about. Find the right friends and partner and I will be happy. Of course other people thought I could fix them and make them complete as well. That never worked either.
We are all related; we are all dependent on one another, but close relationships offer a unique and sometimes difficult challenge to growth. The first challenge is to get beyond the ego, and if you are like me, this challenge will last a lifetime.

What happens when we meet simply as egos in a relationship? When egos meet they rub against one another; that is what egos do. That friction produces a whole spectrum of feelings and reactions: annoyance, anger, fear, judgment, just to name a few. When a person is made out to be an object or a thing, the ego is in charge of the perception. Using only the perception of the ego, the other person is either an opponent, someone to be controlled, or is looked upon as irrelevant.

Because intimacy stretches me, the process is not always comfortable. One of the first things that comes about when I commit to an intimate relationship is that all of my unfinished business comes right up in my face. The unfinished matters of my life include feelings I have never dealt with, shame I have never looked at, woundedness I have never healed, grieving I have not finished, along with addictions and other compulsive behaviors. They all come up, like magma bubbling up from the earth’s core. Often, I am so focused on how great I feel being in love, I am taken by surprise when all these issues blast to the surface of my consciousness.

There have been numerous times when I have worked with couples who have been ambushed by this phenomenon, and often the realization seems to hit right after the literal honeymoon. This is because the ritual of marriage is a way of voicing to the world that the couple are in a committed relationship and commitment is a dirty word to the ego. When the ego feels itself trapped all hell breaks loose.
The suddenness and force with which my previously submerged issues hit me generates fear and a tremendous amount of defensive- ness, along with one of the ego’s major forms of defense: called pro- jection. The ego’s projection could sound like: “Well, I never felt this way until I met you.” “This was never a problem until I married you.” “It’s not me, it’s you.” “Well, you started it.” “Well, if you hadn’t brought it up, then I wouldn’t have had to say that.”
The ego in its fear and limited perspective creates other and more subtle ways of hindering relationships. We need to be aware that this fearful little piece of ourselves is only trying to protect itself. Although practically everything is a threat to the ego, the commit- ment to love is one of the greatest.
Many relationships fail because we experience ourselves as unlovable. We cannot believe that someone can love us the way we are, and so we both consciously and unconsciously sabotage the relationship. We wind up playing some unconscious games such as “Come Closer; Go Away.” It unfolds like this: I let you come close to me because I am comfortable being open and vulnerable at this moment, but as soon as you get close I get frightened and I do some- thing to push you away. Then I feel the deep need to be loved and accepted by you so I let myself be open and vulnerable once more, and the cycle continues.

I discovered myself playing this game in my early relationship with Margo. I recall soon after we had met, I told her, “I could come and visit you sometime,” and feeling very open and free saying that. Then she responded, “Yes, and I could come and visit you, too.” Well, that just freaked me out. Looking back, everything was won- derful when I felt as if I were in control of things, but when I felt another person making decisions that affected me, I became con- tracted and fearful. I wanted to be close to Margo but on my terms, so I let her into my heart for a while, got frightened and shut down again. The “game” continued until I became aware of my fear. I had to make some conscious choices. Since my emotions are fairly fick- le, I knew I could not feel safe all the time, but I knew in my heart I am safe with Margo. I began to make more choices with my heart rather than my fear.
As I became more conscious of my fears I also realized I was not consciously or maliciously pushing her away. I was frightened and acting out of that scared, contracted self, the ego. When I realized I was “in prison” I began to make some choices to get out.
Another fearful ego game is called, “Will You Love Me If...” It unfolds something like this: “I’m not sure that anyone could really love me, so I have to keep testing things out. I do something outra- geous to see if you can still love me when I am stupid, forgetful, or obnoxious. I am very pleased when I discover that you still love me after that, but then I have to push the envelope a little more and a lit- tle more.” When the other person finally gives up I can say, “See, I knew you didn’t love me.”
The ego thinks in terms of scarcity, that there will not be enough. It thinks there will not be enough love, or enough happiness, or enough attention to go around. With scarcity thinking in tow, the frightened ego intrudes again and begins to spawn competition between partners. Sometimes, unknowingly, we begin to “count up points.” Conscious or unconscious thoughts such as, “Well, I’ll let you have your way this time, but next time you better let me have mine.” The issue could be sex, money, or even taking out the garbage. The destructive results of point counting and competition quickly make us enemies rather than lovers and friends.

A popular phrase in the sixties was, “If you can’t love yourself, you can never love anyone else.” That message really got me. I did not feel very lovable. I did not think I loved myself very much, but I also knew I cared for some other people very deeply. How could I love someone else when I did not love myself? I could not get it.
I finally realized this idea of loving myself and others was not an absolute. When I put the focus back on myself, I realize that my ability to truly love more unconditionally is measured by my ability to love myself, but this is not an all-or-nothing proposition. Loving myself, as with many other internal abilities, is a matter of degree. My ability to love myself is like a magnifying glass that channels my ability to love you. We all have the ability to love ourselves to some degree; the more powerful the lens the more powerful the love that comes through.
As I continue to work on making the conscious choice to go beyond the limits of my ego, I also realize the need to have a good relationship with myself is linked to having a good relationship with you. If my relationship with myself stinks, my relationship with you is not going to smell very good either. Once I begin to work on con- scious self-love and respect, I become more aware of who I am and also what I can give. Relationships teach me what I need to give of myself and by doing so teach me what I can give to others.
The ego teaches you that the world is not a safe place, and love especially is not safe. It is challenging to live beyond the ego and to live outside that safety and self-imposed scarcity. The ego thinks to love unconditionally is to make yourself into a doormat. The soul knows that to love unconditionally is the only way to love. If you have ever experienced loving someone completely, you know that unconditional love does not destroy you; on the contrary, it makes you stronger. When you encounter the ego’s fear of loving, do not argue with it; let go of the fear. The ego does not remember that unconditional love is good, but the heart does. Listen to your heart, not your fear.

Intimacy pushes us to grow in love with those close to us, but inti- macy also presents us with a model of how to relate to everyone. The way Jesus stated it, “For if you love those who love you what reward do you have? Do not even tax collectors do the same?” (Mt 5:46 ESV)
It is natural to think some relationships are more special than oth- ers, but one of the many lessons relationships can teach us is how to love everyone deeply and honestly. Spiritually speaking, there are no special relationships, or better said, all relationships are special. As I continue to stretch and grow, I am asked to love everyone with equal devotion.
When I first encountered the concept that “there are no special relationships” in A Course in Miracles, I thought the idea was ridiculous. “Of course,” I said to myself, “my relationship with Margo and her children and our grandchildren is special.” Then I realized, in a moment of insight, I was being asked to love everyone as deeply as I love my wife and grandchildren.
“Who is my neighbor?” Jesus was asked. His reply via the para- ble of the Good Samaritan was, “Everyone.” Spiritually, my love for Margo, Mikayla, Paige, Meaghan, Aoife, or Fionn gives me a refer- ence point of how I am being asked to love everyone. Love every- one, be they government officials, terrorists, rude clerks, or people who are talking behind me at the movie. Love everyone the way you love those you know you love. The other person is ultimately God, no matter what form he or she might be wearing today.
The challenge becomes “Who don’t you see as God and why not?” To answer that question we must enter into the consciousness of the soul. We have already looked at some of the things that occur when we meet one another on an ego level. What happens when people meet one another on a soul level?
When we meet as souls on a journey, when we recognize one another as spiritual beings, we are one and we know it; we are loved and we know it. We are the living embodiment of the Golden Rule.

Buddha said it this way, “See yourself in others. Who then shall you harm?”

There are many interpretations of what occurs when we fall in love. Some would suggest that we are simply in love with an image of ourselves, like Narcissus staring at his reflection in the water. Scott Peck suggests falling in love is a “mild form of insanity.” Both of those are true at times. I would also like to think that when we fall in love we are meeting one another on the level of the soul. We do not simply experience a lack of ego boundaries; I believe we are relating to one another as soul to soul. The difficulty lies in the fact that we do not stay there.
Because, in our human existence, we continually cope with issues of both ego and soul, it is not surprising that most of our relation- ships have aspects of both.
When I am with clients, I am pointedly focused on them. I am lis- tening intently, making eye contact, and being aware of body lan- guage. I am also letting go of judgment and lovingly honoring their process as I create a space for them to heal. What is amazing to me is that as soon as I walk in the door of my home, my focus immedi- ately shifts to my wants and my needs and creating a safe place for me to be in. Even though my intention is to be kind, unselfish, and loving, when I lose focus and let my self-centered needs take over, my original goals seem to vanish. When I lose my intention, focus, and sense of commitment, my wife could be talking to me, but I am thinking about dinner, or reading the paper, or programming my DVR. When I lose my focus and intention, my fearful, protective, self-centered ego takes over automatically.
I can choose to practice focus and intention. When I am home, I want to be aware I am with someone I love, not someone I am in competition with, not someone who wants to get over on me, not someone who is trying to hurt me, or take something away from me. How often do I lose that awareness when I am wrapped up in myself and my own needs?
I often wonder, “If loving is so good, and wonderful, and beautiful, and healing, why do we keep going back to the ego-consciousness of fear, competition, and scarcity thinking?” The answer is sim- ply that the ego always wants to get back in control. Even when we have surrendered our self-centered fear and choose to focus on loving, the ego remains fearful. The ego’s desire to be safe and fulfilled is still present.

Not only does the ego project all its hidden issues on the other person, it also projects its wants and needs onto the other person as well. This is another reason why we fall back into ego-consciousness so easily, because we always have wants and needs that we want to be satisfied, and it is much easier to have someone else do the work for us. It is such an easy thing to expect another to heal us or to make us feel better or complete us.
We all have unhealed places, and healing is a major factor in rela- tionships. But if I just come to you in my woundedness with the desire that you fix me, the relationship will not work. If I just come to you in strength in order to fix you, it will not work. I have to come to you acknowledging my woundedness, and loving you in yours. I also have to come to you in strength to be willing to help you heal, and be open to letting your strength help heal me. A partnership embraces one another’s wholeness, and also acknowledges my own.
Even though relationships involve other people, they truly are about discovering who we are, and the ultimate goal of all relation- ships is that we see God in the beloved and let them see God in us. When someone loves us, they help to create a space, a safe haven, where we can heal and grow. This space is unconditional; it is free of guilt and shame and expectations. We give this space to one another. Imagine what that would be like. Two people creating a loving safe space where they can heal. That is what love is, that is the essence of relationship.
Ultimately, on the spiritual path of relationships, we are encour- aged to cultivate our intuitive heart. It is not with the mind or the senses that we know what is healthy and what is not. It is with the heart.
Not all relationships are going to work. Even Jesus had problems with some people. The ultimate authority for going or staying is your heart, not your codependent unhealthy needs, but your heart.

There have been so many people I have worked with who have told me that at some point in a relationship there was a voice or sen- sation inside that said, “Uh-oh, this is not good,” but then they pur- posely overlooked that inner advice or told themselves they could handle it.
Here is a very simple rule: If you are honestly working on your own health and well-being, and a relationship is constantly draining you of energy, then it is probably unhealthy and you are probably trying to satisfy unhealthy needs in yourself or the other. The only solution is to let go. If you want to get rid of those lumps on your head stop running into the wall.
The heart is fearless, but it is not stupid. It knows when it is time to stay or time to go. Unlike the ego, the heart does not judge or blame. It accepts responsibility for its own stuff and the problems it has created.
Good working relationships, be they friendships or more intimate ones, are always equal to equal, eyeball to eyeball. We might bring different gifts, but we never need to expect our partner to give in to us. It is never about winners or losers. It is never about you or me; it is about us. There is a great scene in the movie Rocky that really touched me. It is the night before his big fight, and he goes to the auditorium, looks over the ring, and has a talk with the promoter. He goes back home to his crappy old apartment, and sits on the side of the bed where his girlfriend Adrian is sleeping. He mutters out loud, waking her, “I can’t do it, I can’t beat him.” Adrian sits up, looks at Rocky, and asks, “What are we going to do?” Not “Oh, that’s terrible, what are you going to do?” but, “What are we going to do?” That’s beautiful!

MEDITATION: LOVING RELATIONSHIPS
As you get comfortable, relaxed, and open, take a few deep cleansing breaths, opening even more.
Count backwards from ten to one as you breathe deeply.
You can feel a sense of lightness and receptiveness as you allow Spirit to speak to you, sharing with you exactly what you need.
Breathe deeply and experience yourself more and more relaxed as you open to this meditation.
Relationships provide a safe space for us to heal and grow.
Imagine what it would be like to be in a space that you experience as being as perfectly safe as you can. You can create any image or set of sensations you like. You could tune into a natural environment or one you create yourself.
Right now all the tools for this creation are within your grasp. Take some time to create this sacred, safe place for yourself.
Pause...
Now within the energy of this safe place, know that the Power and Spirit of God dwell here with you. You are more than safe; you are enfolded in the grace and strength and healing power of the infinite.
Pause...
Something needs to heal within you now. Let it come to your conscious- ness. You do not need to try and think about it, just let it come to you. It might be something you have been aware of for some time, or what sur- faces might be a bit of surprise. You can come back to this place as often as you choose to heal. For now, simply accept what comes up for you.

Notice your feelings without becoming overly involved in them, and then if you choose to, offer this thing in your life that needs healing, offer it to God.

Let it go, release it. Know you are being healed at this moment. Let it go, and as you let it go breathe into the more open space that now exists within you. Allow it to fill with light and love and grace. Yes. Releasing, healing, and filling up.
Begin to be conscious again of your breathing. Breathe deeply and stretch. Come fully back here in your body, completely centered and grounded.
Get up, stretch, and look around you. Become familiar with the place again, feeling yourself in your body. Journal or process any other way you like.

                                       NUGGETS

Many of us have formed relationships that are based on fixing the other person, or we have worked very hard to attract a person we think will heal us or make us whole. That doesn’t work!

A loving relationship is based on creating space and holding a space where the other can do the healing work on themselves. I hold a space; I do not fix; I let go of my defenses.

Just being there for someone makes a difference.

Even though the limited consciousness of the ego can hinder intimacy, we do not intend to kill the ego off. The ego is not the enemy here.

When I think the ego’s limited perception is the truth, that is when the problems begin.

In response to a barrage of ego-centered fear, the practice of awareness and self-honesty will help me to grow with the challenge of facing my unfinished business. I need to accept that this is my stuff and not the other person’s. Not only is it mine, but it is mine to work on.

When you recognize the effort being made by another person to stretch and grow, acknowledge that effort and compliment them on it. You will be amazed at the positive energy that flows from that tiny effort.
Human relationships are beautiful as they are, but the spiritual dimension gives them even more meaning and purpose.

Don’t hesitate to ask yourself the question, “What is my heart telling me?”

Recognize that building a relationship is a life-long task. I do not want to wait until I have all my stuff together before I get into a relationship. If that were true there would not be any relationships.

Meet one another as souls on a journey rather than egos who are in competition.

Intimate relationships are the crucible for transformation. Love yourself no matter what.

Let go of your little self in order to truly embrace the other person and your own soul.

See God in yourself and the other until you see only God.

To love well, you must give up your self-centeredness. Become a sensitive listener, hearing what is said and not said.

Healthy relationships need always to be based on freedom and choice.

Make it a choice, as often as you like, to postpone personal gratification to meet the needs of another. When it is your choice, you can be a lover rather than a codependent victim.

We cannot always choose who we meet or the people or situations we encounter, but we can choose how we respond to them.

You can choose to be as close or intimate with another human being as you want to be, and to that degree you will be challenged to grow. Everything intensifies, the closer, the more intimate, and the more vulnerable we choose to be.

We are here together to honor one another’s wholeness, and by doing so we empower one another to heal. Our focus can be on wholeness rather than woundedness.

Know that whatever yearnings are touched off in you by a relationship are fundamentally yearnings for wholeness, Oneness, and union with Spirit.

All relationships have as their purpose to become aware of our Oneness. A relationship is there to serve one another’s opening to love.

Healthy relationships are there to provide a safe place to heal, grow, and transform.

Relationships make us look at our fears, not just the fears of the ego but the fears that have been implanted in us, our woundedness.

THE PRECIPICE 1

Our world is not an erroneous one but rather that the universe in which we live is the realm of reality about wish man entertains a false concept. The work of bringing health and harmony into our experience is not then getting rid of four even changing immortal material universe but correcting the finite concept of our existence.   The Infinite Way by Joel Goldstein

P. 117

Let us begin with a few ideas it came up in class this morning. You might recall that we left off last week with the image of standing on the precipice and an aspect of that “growing edge” is being willing to release our histories or our over identification with our history.

What that does not mean is that we leave our learning behind. We are aware, as we grow in awareness, we learn how to respond to life situations differently. We also learn that our sense of who we are is continually evolving and expanding. We are not letting go of that learning, what we are letting go of is the continual unconscious movement of doing what we are doing without any idea all of our motivation.

Yes, we are all influenced by our history and not only by our own personal history but we can also be influenced and take on the history of others especially our parents/family/ethnic origins, etc. All of this learning can influence our actions, beliefs and attitudes.

“We would like you to know things about why you do what you do unconsciously, why you make choices that you don’t understand, and why you don’t consider the options that may be made available to you if you learn to trust yourself in a true way. Many of you act on principle, “This is the right thing to do,” “This is the wrong thing to do,” but you do not consider that principles are inherited behavior. You do not ask yourself why you adhere to them because you were told not to ask. Now, we are not telling you not to do things in a certain way that you have become accustomed to. But we are also telling you that you must know that when you act in principle without understanding why you are doing what you are doing, you are merely adhering to your history.”

Often times through our religion of origin we also take on another deep form of History about what is right and what is wrong, most often without any reason why simply because I said so. We can also be tremendously influenced by dualistic thinking, right/wrong; good/bad, along with creating a role or identity for ourselves as a sinner, someone separate from God. Most of us are quite aware of how deeply imbedded some of these illusions can be. 

Often times attached to our old religious beliefs is an old internal sense that I have carried with me for a long time. It translates something like this, “I feel good, everything seems to be going my way, therefore I must be good and God must be smiling on me.” On the other hand, I might be feeling bad and things might not be going my way and so I translate that as “There must be something wrong with me” or “God is frowning on me for some reason.” Although many of us, in different ways, with different words have adopted these beliefs as part of our history we come to realize the message is just not true. It no longer serves me.

My feelings have nothing to do with how close God is to me. In fact, there is nothing that can separate me from the love of God. 

Romans 8:38-39 New International Version (NIV)

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.

Even though that is true many of us including myself still do not live in the Presence of that unconditional love. We could go through all sorts of reasons why or why not, but what is most important, to remember and to practice, is that by living in and choosing and becoming in alignment with those thoughts and actions which are of higher vibration, I become more and more open more and more receptive to the Truth of the love that I am. Which includes the love I accept as well as the love I give. “And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

Even though Unconditional Love remains unconditional love, I do have choice insofar as how I am open or receptive to it. Eventually, however, all blocks and barriers will be gone. The way Marianne Williamson expressed it was “God will ultimately out with your self-hatred.”

 I would like to add that being on the precipice is not a bad thing. In fact, if we were truly aware we would realize that every moment we are on that precipice of choice to be in love or to be in fear. Essentially all that we are leaving behind are all of those things, those thoughts, ideas and patterns of behavior, which no longer serve us. We are leaving behind an unconscious existence and opening ourselves to a higher consciousness, higher vibration, a deeper sense of receptivity to the truth of Who We Are.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Anais Nin

My personality self would like to create the drama of struggle around being on the precipice/being in choice at this present moment, but this does not have to be so. Here again is our choice, “How am I going to hold this present moment as a struggle, as a difficulty, as something wrong with me, as God taking away taking away his grace or do I hold it as a moment to choose love beyond all human understanding. You see that latter choice is a reflection of my worth. Think about that one for a moment.

I was really struck the other day as I was reading this over, the title of our book is The Book of Knowing and Worth. What caught my attention was “When I know my worth, when I fully embrace my worth as the truth of who I am, that's it. That's what the whole trip is all about--working through and letting go all of this stuff that might get in the way of that truth until I am at the point where I know my worth and there is literally nothing else that needs to be done.

Our lesson today--we are being encouraged to ask ourselves--”What is motivating me here (in this moment, in this action)?” This is not about moral judgment. We are not even being asked to change our behavior, but to become more aware of why I am doing what I'm doing. 

The book gave the example of lying. Why would I choose to tell an untruth? Most of the time it would be to protect my own butt. But then I am being asked to delve deeper. “Why do I need to protect myself?” Well, if you found out I did such and such, you might not like me. You might be angry at me and because I am so attached to who you think I am I am afraid of that vision becoming tarnished or all sorts of other fearful reasons. 

Then, if we even want to delve deeper we might ask ourselves, “Am I willing to tell the truth even though there might be consequences; it might not be comfortable.” I shared with you the example of telling the truth because I did not want a lie or an untruth to get in in the way of the integrity of a relationship. You will notice if you examine situations like that in your life, sometimes choosing a higher vibration does not always necessarily feel good emotionally. As we talked about above that is a tremendously important distinction to be able to make.

This work is not about emotional comfort although sometimes that comes. 

This feels a bit open-ended for me, which means that I could probably ramble along for a few more pages but I also sense it's a good time to close and so I will end with one of my favorite one-liners from a song by Harry Chapin called Circles:

“There’s no straight lines make up my life and all my roads have Ben's there's no clear-cut beginnings and so far no dead ends.”

In love and peace Grace and acceptance in Truth. Thank you.

THE PRECIPICE 2

P. 119-120

I keep being reminded that “you teach what you want to learn.” THANK YOU!

And so here I am again face to face with this paradoxical dilemma. I could say it is continually asking the question “Who am I,” but perhaps a more profitable question might be “Through what lens am I viewing myself and my world?” Even hear our language breaks down, but for a moment imagine that I am perceiving myself and my world, which includes you as well, that I am perceiving through the lens of my limited personality/egocentric self. And let us say we even drop other people and all the comings and goings of the outside world and focus very simply on my perception of myself through the lens of my personality.

I ask myself “What do I need? What do I want?,” and when I finally work through all of the desires, all of the ambitions, all of the things that I think will make me happy, I am left with the essential notion that what I desire more than anything else is to be at peace. And here is where the Paradox or the seeming contradiction becomes most relevant because what the ego or personality self seeks it cannot find. What I am being asked to do with that  limited part of me to hold it in love as I would a child and let myself know that God/Spirit/ my Divine consciousness knows what I do not or cannot know with I'm my mortal mind. My intellect is created to always question; the small self is created to continue to search. it is made to be restless it is made to be dissatisfied.

What we essentially realize, which has been taught in so many spiritual works is that we are attempting to address our spiritual needs through our mortal or material self. (The dalai lama pointed out that the most common misconception in the West is the attempt to fulfill our spiritual desires by material means) And here is the cusp about our deepest lesson that it is only through Spirit that we can find an embrace the longing of our hearts. Agustin expressed it this way, “Lord you have made our hearts restless and they will never rest until they rest in Thee. But what that means and what we often miss is that resting in God or in the Truth of our being means surrendering all of those thoughts and ideas and beliefs and patterns of behavior that we think are going to solve our problems.

You see, with the thinking mind/the ego/the personality self or whatever way we choose to describe it, whatever we get is never going to be enough. the paradox continues as we recognize with the Tibetan philosopher and mystic Chogyam Trungpa: “Enlightenment is the ego's ultimate disappointment.” The ego thinks it knows what it needs and what it wants in order to be at peace and yet as we said above whatever it gets is never enough. The Divine self or the Truth of Who You Are does not need or want anything. It is absolutely perfect and complete in it's knowing and in its connection to the Divine Source from which it flows.

 What I would encourage all of us to do, certainly myself included, is when questions arise from this book or from any aspect of our study of spirituality, that we sit with the question for a moment and ask ourselves, “Is this question or is this thought  that I am conemtplating at the moment, does it come from my limited personality consciousness or does it come from my Divine self?” There is no rule book for this one, but quite often the answer will come. If it is a question is flowing from my limited consciousness then I can begin to identify it more with a sense of fearfulness or separation or anxiety or the need to be right, and then what I am being asked to do is to embrace this neediness or this question and to hold it again as I would hold frightened child and to realize that my Divine self/ the God within knows the answer or the direction or the guidance or the nurturing in ways that my limited mind cannot comprehend. That what is in charge here is the essence of unconditional love.

Now that whole reflection brings us to another place in this work we are doing which centers in Awareness. it has been mentioned before that a very essential aspect of this journey on planet Earth will involve us moving from a state of unawareness to awareness and then falling back into forgetfulness and becoming aware again. We will do this until we do not need to do it any longer. Very similar to Peter asked Jesus how many times should I forgive my brother Jesus answered 70 x 7 which essentially is a mystical number that means you keep doing it unto you don't need to do it anymore.

Being awake or being aware or being asleep and being unaware is not a matter of judgment or something wrong with us. It is a learning, a continual learning. It was observed in class this morning that there are some people or situations in life that might tend to trigger that sense of separateness or limitation more so than others. it is good to be aware of that and in some cases it might mean that there are situations or individuals that for a while in life perhaps we might choose to avoid. Most often than not, however, that might not be possible. Here again is the possibility of some deep learning --instead of blaming the other person, perhaps being able to ask ourselves “What is it about my relationship or my perception of someone that keeps getting me hooked and what do I need to do with that one.” Again not judgment but awareness.

When we fall into unawareness that is what the book might refer to as being controlled or guided by our history. In other words we respond to a person place or situation without thinking. We respond unconsciously in robot mode. When we awaken however, when we become aware again, we now have another decision to make. I can beat myself up for falling asleep or I can rejoice in being awake and aware again.

Another way of perceiving this or holding it is it when I am unaware or asleep I am out of touch or out of alignment with the Divine truth of who I am it is that simple and that profound.

 “Now today we would like to teach you some things about your obligations, your adherence to forms, and those things that you think are so that may be so or may not be so. The alignment that you each have to date brings you to where you stand. There can be nothing in your reality, for better or for worse, that you cannot agree with. So, consequently, how do you choose what you call to you as your inheritance—your inheritance being your worth as expressed by you in all ways?

The decisions that you make that are born in form, that are born in agreement with history, continue to perpetuate what you have known. The willingness that you must each take now to go forward is to realize that when you walk toward the unknown, you must align to it as a place of infinite choice.”

We are reminded of what ACIM states: “When you bring the past it into the present, you create a future Jesuit like your past.” This is a profound description of being lead or controlled by our history. 

It might be important here to examine what I ma going to call somewhat of a missing piece here. 

My personality self is not a separate identity that lives inside me, it is simply a limited form of perception. WAe do not want the ego or the personality self to be the bad guy here because the personality or the ego self is also a creation of the Divine mind and is part of our chosen vehicle here on planet Earth. So it might be helpful every once in awhile to ask ourselves “What does my pride have to teach me? What does my sense of separateness have to teach me? What does my fear of this or that have to teach me?” With this understanding there is nothing outside of the realm of our learning. As we embrace that, we also learn lovingly that all is in divine order. Although my small self might rebelled against that, still another truth becomes revealed and that is that the ego the small self the personality also grows and evolves.

You will notice in yourself perhaps that your separate identity which is also another way of naming your personality or your ego has become more transparent over time, has become less fearful or less rebellious. It has become more aware that your spiritual search is not the enemy here either, that all can be approached lovingly even in its imperfection. 

The following are some quotes from the book The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament. My sense is that a major teaching of this work concerns itself with what we are calling “being awake/aware and being asleep/unconscious.

“Think of the world as a dream, for it seems real while you are here. But think of Heaven as awakening. Upon reaching Heaven, you will realize that the world, and all you thought there, was never true and so it mattered not.”

*********

“Do not feel guilty about your distractions, for distractions cause no loss in the Will of God. God’s Will is truth, and so it remains always true. Distractions can have no affect on it. Distractions only distract you from what is true, so that your focus is on distractions, which distract you from the awareness of truth.

****************

But then the awakened willingness within comes, and it calls you to turn away from distractions. It calls you to return your mind fully to the awareness of truth. In this calling, your distractions can serve the purpose of truth. For all things given to your willingness will be used by your willingness to further awaken the call within you. This will continue until your distractions are no more, and you are fully awake to the singular thought of God without distraction of any kind.”

****************

You, who are reading these words, are the sleeping Son of God. You are sleeping, because you believe in the world. And you are the Son of God, because you are the extension of the Light that is God.”

****************

“When you awaken to the truth and remembrance of reality, there shall be great rejoicing within Heaven. Not because you were lost, for you never were, but because you have found your Self again.”

****************

“When you find willingness, clasp hands with your Holy Spirit in joy! Walk forward in trust and willingness. This is your desire awakened, and it is leading you Home.

****************

This next one is so beautiful!!!!

“(v 6 – 9)1Let Me tell you what I see when I look at you. 2I see faith and willingness and love. 3I see a heart that is so strong, not even the heavens of your universe can contain it. 4I see a mind that is awakening to its own Heart. 5I see gentleness through awakening, and I am grateful to have come to welcome you back unto your truth.”

****************

“Listen to Me and what I teach you now. I am the holy Voice of Wisdom, and I teach your process for forgiveness:

As you think, you experience.

It is through your thinking that illusion is made.

It is through awareness of thought that you see what I teach.

It is through releasing thought that illusion is let go.

This is the process of awakening. As you let Me, I take your hand and lead you through this process now.Everything is according to your own willingness.

****************

Awakening comes from the Heart, so let the Heart lead in all things. The mind is the great receiver.But with the Heart, sort through that which is received. Let the Heart and mind together give to spirit, so that the deliverer receives, always, through the Heart. Let the Heart be the test of all that is delivered, and you shall deliver only from the Heart.”

****************

Let the awakened mind dance within your awareness, and the sleeping mind shall rouse itself within your hymns of joy. This is the miracle of awakening:

****************

Gratitude is the way, as is resting. Have gratitude for the state of awakening, and rest peacefully any murmurings of dreams. 3In this way, sleep may be finished, and awakening may joyously be received.

In Love, Grace, Gratitude and Peace

THIS INCARNATION 18

P. 113-114 

So let us begin with an aspect of these lessons that has been mentioned before and will probably be mentioned again--That is the difference between what we are referring to as the personality self or the ego structure or the knowing of the intellect, all of which are similar although not exactly identical-- the difference between them and what we are referring to as your Divine self, the Christ Consciousness, the consciousness of unity, non judgement and non separation.

We are all familiar with the ego and the personality self. Although we might not be able to define them, we know what they are. We have an awareness of when we are acting out of this limited consciousness, not necessarily when we are doing it, but at least after the fact. We are also aware that there are moments and times when either we consciously choose to be in our divine nature and then sometimes when it just simply happens. When we find ourselves loving even though we might not want to, when we find ourselves taking the path of non-judgement even though my mind might be screaming to make somebody else wrong.

We bring this up today because one of the major goals of the personality self is to be safe, and most, if not all of its choices, are a reflection of that need for safety. As we set ourselves on the path of deeper knowing or as the book calls it “Knowing and Worth.” since both are connected with one another, we find ourselves entering into uncharted waters. And whenever we do this, it is quite natural for the personality self to object or resist because it does not feel very safe.

(Remember Peter walking on water?)

So we are not pretending that there will be no resistance or that the personality or ego self will not experience any fear as we walk into the territory of the unknown or the undefinable. What we are suggesting is that, although the personality self will experience fear and resistance that we can also recall that is not Who We Are. Nor is this trip about overcoming our resistance or our fear by brute force. Since all that comes up, all that arises, even our resistance and our fear, is a creation of our divine self for learning, we are encouraged to embrace and accept even our fearful and resistant thoughts. That does not mean we need to give into them, but it does mean we embrace them and hold them in the light as best we can, and realize that by accepting where we are begins to give us the opportunity to move forward into that realm of Soul and Spirit.

We might also add another piece here that can also enlighten the path of bit more, and that is there is only One Truth-- “you are a Divine Child of God; you are a unique expression of the Divine and part of that unique expression comes from your physical being as well as the ego and personality you have created for yourself.” Along with that knowing, however it comes to you, however you honor it, comes also the realization that you are, practically all the time, working from a sense of perception, a perception of who you are or who you think you are. So even when you decide you are resistant or afraid, that is a perception of yourself coming from your limited awareness. We are not denying its reality, but we are denying its truth, so that even though those feelings are there they are not who you are.

Take a breath 

We began this morning with part of the meditation coming from a book called “Conversations with JC.”

“Here” is the place of absolute joy and “now” is the only time there is. You think you move in and out of absolute Joy. You perceive yourself on some sort of roller coaster moving from one emotion to another. I say to you Joy is the only emotion, the only feeling. All the other emotions are merely judgments of joy. As you have just studied releasing judgment is practicing your Perfection. You are never out of the high Joy vibration

You will allow events to trigger judgments hus you experience a perception which you attach to Joy and call it anger, fea, pain or distrust. Perception is a judgment about what you see. Little ones, you always see Perfection yet you are choosing to judge it and are experiencing the perception of your judgment. Do you see?

We have talked about being on the path. Your perception of this has led you to think you are moving upward to some great spiritual understanding. I say to you, here and now, you are perfect. I say to you here and now you are aware of that perfection. I say to you your purpose here and now is to practice your already existing total perfection. Here and now I love you I am with you I am your Christ expressing Here and Now.

“We understand that your histories inform your daily lives, and the surrendering to the new feels, at times, impossible when the shadows of the old creep upon you and tap you on the shoulder and say, “Don’t forget us.” You will not forget them. You will not need to know them anymore because the light that you hold as you claim your vibration in truth and create a consciousness in this intention, “I am Word,” you will align to the new, and the old will not be permitted to that level of creation.”

I love that idea of the old patterns pleading to us almost “don't forget us.” What all of us have realized to some extent is that even though this work we are doing here together is challenging that there have been Transformations that have taken place within us far beyond those we might have imagined. We are called to be aware of these Transformations again and again. They are proof that something is happening here. We might not be able to Define it and yet here it is.

What we are saying here is that the thoughts of old patterns or the memory of old patterns might stay with us for a long time, perhaps even longer than the patterns themselves, but as we grow in higher vibration, and not simply recognizing it, but being in that higher vibrational state, that the old patterns just have nowhere to stick. They are like keys that are trying to get into a lock that has been changed. They just don't fit one another anymore, and so each of us might find, in our own way, that the keys we held on for safety no longer fit the locks of higher vibration that we are living in. It can be that simple.

“Now the walk that you are on, and the walk that you are each on, has been prescribed by your soul in your own awareness of your worth. The teaching you are being given now of worth and knowing is to support you in accelerating this process in significant ways. The trajectory you are choosing is one to benefit not only you but all that you encounter. And the choice to sing, to be your frequency in full incarnation, is what we are attending to now.”

The title of this chapter is “This Incarnation” and so it is speaking to the truth of our perception in this lifetime, but we also know we are more than simply this lifetime. The Buddhists might ask the question, “What breaks the wheel of Samsara? This Karma of lifetime after lifetime. We might ask the same question. It is answered in the above sentence which states “your soul in your own awareness of your worth.” Once you realize who you truly are and live in that realization, this stage of the work is done. Now we did not suggest that you go to heaven and everything stops; we are suggesting that the work of this human lifetime of yours ends with that complete honoring and acceptance of your Worth the truth of Who You Are. 

Impossible you say? Not so, you have already experienced pristine moments of peace, of joy, of non-judgement, of perfection. if you can experience it for one second who is to say you cannot experience it for a minute or 5 minutes or an hour. it is only your perception or your sense of unworthiness it keeps this away from you.

Again we remind you this is not about a struggle with your limitation. so Instead of asking a question such as “How do I get rid of these limitations that I keep putting on myself?” A better question might be, “What would it be like to experience myself in my perfection? What would it be like to be aligned to my Divine self?” 

The next section of this book is called “The Precipice.” We might suggest that you don't simply stand on the edge of these choices once, but that this is happening all the time. And, as we suggested above, there is a difference between how your personality self handles the challenge and how your Divine self handles the challenge.

All of us are moving from older limited states of awareness to states of vibration and consciousness that goes far beyond our perception and our thinking mind. To move into these higher realms requires that we leave some of our old stuff, our old methods and means of protection behind. To realize that they no longer serve us. They might have served us in the past, and so we bless them and release them and let them go because we recognize today they are not who we are 

“You all are protecting yourselves from your own beauty, from your own light, and from your own infinite design. As you release the safety that you have known, as you say “Yes” to this possibility, the bells will ring and the resonance of the bells will be the song you hear and that you attend to. We say the decision is yours. What do you want? If you want this, say “Yes,” and say it now, and we will return shortly with the news of the day.”

A closing thought: 

When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly. Edward Teller

 A reminder: We never suggest and you should drag your personality self kicking and screaming into the next spiritual chapter of your life. Love and honor wherever or however it is you perceive yourself at this moment. By loving and honoring, and even realizing that perception is limited, you open yourself up to deeper understanding and give yourself the ability to gently and lovingly move forward.