Monday, December 3, 2018

RESPONSIBILITY 10

p. 80-81

Thank you all for some great interaction!

In reference to any number of people exploring the idea of ENLIGHTENMENT—what it means—how it happens—Am I there yet?

William James in his book The Variety of Religious Experience describes two kinds of spiritual awakening. One is that dramatic seemingly sudden type of Paul being knocked off his horse on the road to Damascus or Bill Wilson after saying, “If there is a God let Him show himself," had this towering vision of the room being filled with light. James goes on to say that most of us will not have that kind of sudden awakening. That most of us will experience spiritual awakening of what he calls the "educational variety." Now that does not mean that the intellect is engaged as opposed to the soul, but that awakening will come gradually over time, often without us even realizing it until we look back.
It might also be wise to be aware of what the Buddhist teacher, Chögyam Trungpa, said  “Enlightenment is ego's ultimate disappointment.”

When these questions came up in another setting a few days ago, I could not but be reminded of the wonderful passage from The Velveteen habit by Marjorie Williams.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.
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The Skin Horse Tells His Story
"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him.

I am becoming more and more aware that what I define myself as is much more my perception at the moment as opposed to genuine Truth. The trap I fall into periodically is that I begin to measure my spiritual state or my essence by the state of my emotions. Simply translated, when I feel like crap, I think I am crap. This could not be farther from the truth, but I am pretty sure many of us might find ourselves there. A major difficulty is that I will continue to create incidents to affirm that my limited, unhealthy perception is true. In the language the book is using right now, I will find ways to reinforce my unworthiness.

“Now we ask you what it means to be you. We say this again and again. And as you question your worth, who and what you think you are, you may only come to one conclusion: that you are your own creation to the extent that the beliefs that you hold are identifying you in each situation in your life.”

What happens here is that we start to identify or define ourselves according to our external circumstances as well as our feelings. I am creating my perception of myself and then I start believing it is true.

The work we are doing is leading us to the embracing of our true nature, that is the higher self, which is both the giver and the recipient of unconditional love.

It is so odd that what we desire the most, we also seem to be most reluctant to accept. 

I am so often drawn to this parable of Jesus: “When the king came in to see the guests, he saw there was a man which had not a wedding garment: And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither, not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.—Matthew 22:11-13

We have already been invited to the banquet, and (whether you know it or not, you have accepted the invitation, but none of us are quite sure what to do next. We’ve all been presented with a wedding garment( a symbol of our acceptance of God’s unconditional love), but we haven’t put it on yet.

"Can I really do this? What will happen if I open myself up too unconditional love and it is either taken away from me or somehow I realize I am not worthy of it? What if I out on my wedding garment and it doesn’t fit, or I find out it belongs to someone else?" So here we sit.

As one of our classmates pointed out a more valid question might be what am I missing by not accepting the truth of who I am?

“We continue to teach you today about responsibility, but in a different way. We want to bring you grace, and an awareness of what you can hold as you enlighten yourselves through the usherance of our work into your vibration. Now we say this in a way you may understand. “Usherance” is the word, and we are using it intentionally. We usher the frequency forward so you may claim it, and align to it and embody it.”

I have to be reminded again that I am not doing this alone. There are guides and angels around me, and even though they cannot make decisions for me, they can help to guide me in the direction my heart wants to go in. 
The link below is of the sport of Curling. I often look at the guides as being the “sweepers” who are helping to clear the way, guide the stone (me) to its desired place.


Peace.

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